I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize