We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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