I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
