yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize