drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
