I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
