Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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