I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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