Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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