NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
