Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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