She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
