oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
