I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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