In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize