Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
