my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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