I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
