dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
