Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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