Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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