shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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