she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize