my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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