you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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