my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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