I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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