i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
