grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
home. puking in laundry basket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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