i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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