just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
