ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
