I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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