so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
should my penis look like a turkey
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize