i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
