textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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