this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
