she was so not down for the gang bang
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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