you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
