no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize