Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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