The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
