my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
