Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
