a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize