I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
