two words: eviction party
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
