saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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