there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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