I accidentally burped into my bong.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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