I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
