Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
