Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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