If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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