my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
