I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
