Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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