I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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