we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
