well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
