You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
