and i looked up. we had an audience...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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