My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
