Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
