so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
