It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
