He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
