Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
