What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pants 0. Shit 1.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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