if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
