butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
