wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
