This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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