it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize