yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
