VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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