well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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